Okay, I shall regret after tml,
coz I am not putting effort in..
wad ada say is rite,
you want ur one month effort to drain off?
I don wan!
I guess it is because of the holidays cum working mood,
that cause all this..
But I believe I never make the wrong choice of studying this special sem..
I know alot of ppl, huixi, alica etc..(this more close one)
then I got to know alot of my classmates background..
everyone has their own chapter in life..
Mm..shall blog sth on tml exam..
to see if i rem..
hee..
Note guys! below is going to be boring. Pls skip it. Haha..Topic 1In life, it is impt to self regulate ourselves,
wad is self regulation then? (forget le,checking notes now)
It refers to one who attempts to change or alters its own responses on situations.
If there is no self regulation, one might goes into addiction.
Addiction such as excessive smoking, abuse and alcohol can leads to many bad consequences that nobody expects.
This is what we call the vicious cycle.
When stress is building up and we aim for quick relief,
we will go for instant gratification which is what has been mentioned above.
But this does not help in solving the root of the problem,
it only delays the solutions and afterwhich build up the stress again.
This cycle goes on n on when there is no self regulation.
How do we self regulate ourselves?
We are able to think and balance the pros and cons of the situation.
No adding of too much value judgement on a situation without evaluation.
Go for gradual gratification instead of instant gratifications.
This will come out to be a constructive cycle.
Constructive cycle means that we are able to look for gradual relief,
and at the same time find out other alternatives that can be done to the situation.
The ability to handle a situation in different approach at different times,
shows one possesses self regulation.
With this, we are able to handle challenges in life more easily.
Topic 2Crisis is a perception of a situation that one is unable to cope with with his or her current coping mechanism.
It serves as both an opportunity and danger that occur to the person.
Also, it is often complex and needs time for the whole situation to rest.
Instant gratification might not be able to help in this situation.
It is also a learning experience.
One will be able to learn alot from the situation.
He might be experiencing emotional disequilibrium and disorganization in life.
When crisis occur, the grief cycle usually occur.
denial: you will start to deny that the situation has occured.
blame: you will start to blame those ppl that has cause this situation to occur.
bargin: you start to bargin in order to save the situation instead of accepting the fact.
sadness/depression: you will start to feel sad and blame yourself of everything.
acceptance: you will gradually accept the fact that it has happened & nth can be done.
When one have come to this state of acceptance or are in the state of recovery,
as a helper, we should try to use the basic crisis intervention steps.
First, to define the problem.
second, to ensure our own safety
third, getting support
fourth, examining the alternatives
fifth, make plans
sixth, making commitments
with this, we are able to assist one to get out of his/her crisis slowly.
one of the crisis that one face is losing someone impt in our life.
mourning is part of the process.
It is natural to mourn. In fact, it is healthy to mourn.
Mourning assist us to accept the fact that our loves one has really left us.
It is also natural that it might take a longer time for this to heal.
however, it is always impt to be ard with the person,
but at the same time, give him some space for him to think.
he will be going thru the grief cycle,
but maybe in many rounds and slowly settle down.
One thing to note is that,
we are not trying to forget our loves one.
mourning tells us that they are always with us not physically but mentally.
Topic 3multiple identity is good or bad?
In the past,ppl always say that one is best to have one authentic self.
Because that is ur onli true self,
and you can only have one self.
However, as time passes,
we should realize that a person can have multiple self.
this is because, our circle of friends are all not linked together,
that all our friends know each other,
they are like a venn diagram, only certain part of the circle is shaded.
but not all.
thus, actually one do have multiple selfs.
and they are all true.
with multiple selfs,
we are able to handle situations correctly,
as the situation might require different type of approach at different time.
thus, it can solve smoothly.
we should not be afraid that ppl say that we are not true.
but in fact, sometimes we juz wan to behave the way we want.
Problems that one might face can be:
parents unable to accept the fact that we have change.
and friends are leaving u coz u are not who u are last time.
yet, i guess we have to change to different personality at different times.
the 3 part of selfs is wad i forget liao,
then wad invisible elephant one..
shall read more tml on that..
haha..
Topic 4self limiting beliefs is sth that is embodies in us at our early age by our parents or closed ones. These beliefs are often irrational and have the words such as " always" , " must" and many more.
It is difficult to change the beliefs or totally ignore the beliefs as it has been with us for many years. Sometimes, even when the person is not physically with you but you might not dare to do it too. This is mainly due to long time being influences by the ideas and concepts. Examples of self limiting beliefs are " I wan to be the best in class" , minimization of urselfs etc.
Ways to stop our self limiting beliefs can be thought stopping, A to F model etc.
(starts to flip again)
Activating event, Believe on ur beliefs, Consequences of not holding ur beliefs, Dispute abt ur beliefs, Effective new beliefs, new Feelings.
lazy to put examples here..
lazy to type for the other one that I read,
which is the learning/discovery mode one.
actually not alot I know also.
Diaoz..looking at this,
is plus flipping books lor..
haiz..tml really got to read again.
and the time now is 12.12AM.
shall look at the date that I post this.
haa~